An Advent Gift to You

Dear Family Trails readers,

Computer issues are getting better…but not completely fixed yet. I am back and running at half speed, technically speaking! Having one's computer break down this time of year does help to put things in perspective. Obviously, there are many things in life that can knock sense into us when we need to get things back in line, but the computer has definitely had its impact. While I waited out the computer repair, I thought about how I would approach Advent for our Family Trails  blog. I read more "hard copy" print and dug into some of my favorite writings that I have saved and stuffed into every corner of my kitchen and bedroom.
Then

I brought out a blank book in which I periodically"cut and paste" quotes and verses and short articles that I always hope to reread again one day.  It hit me that I cut out these special items and stick them in a book and ...who else can enjoy them? No one! 

So Here is the plan for Family Trails this month:

Let's take an Advent break from family history and get inspired! I will share something short, inspiring, and hopefully helpful…not in my words, but in the words of others that have inspired me. Nothing monumental…just little tidbits of hope, maybe something that will cause you to sigh with relief, or go on to bed without EVERYTHING checked off of your Christmas To-Do List. 

*I will say up-front that over the years when I have saved writings, I didn't always save the whole article, so I may not be able to add the authors' names. * 

So,  Let's begin.
 Here is a "snip-it" from…something. I do not even remember what! But I like it. I hope you do too. 

Distinguish Ritual from the Habitual.

"Traditions help us feel connected to the past and to one another," explains Joan Lang, M.D., former chair of the psychiatry department at St. Louis University School of Medicine in Missouri. "When you sit down to the same dish your mother and grandmother ate every year on the very same same day, it's not just about the candied yams." A habit, on the other hand, is something you do out of routine, whether or not it brings you pleasure. Ask yourself whether you prepare that feast, bedeck every last doorknob or shop until you literally drop because you truly love it. "We get addicted to hearing, 'Wow, she did it again this year,'" says Shepherd. Then we feel like we have a reputation to uphold." Break free from the cycle of repeat performances by creating less stressful rituals. Instead of hosting the big holiday meal by yourself, buy some precooked side dishes or organize a potluck supper. And who appointed you sole card-writer and gift-wrapper? Enlist your husband's and kids' help and turn those tasks into a fun family night.

I like to reread this little excerpt. I will say that over the years, our extended families have worked through some of these stress factors, cutting out the things that rob us of our energy so we can enjoy our large gatherings. I do love to decorate -as the writer above wrote- every doorknob! But one thing I have tried to do in recent years is to change things up a bit….move the nativity set to another room one year, use paper plates for dessert, let others bring whatever they want to bring for the family meal. This list could go on…like learning that it IS OK to use paper napkins for big gatherings instead of the heirloom set of linen napkins.
 I still have lots of ways to improve and edit my expectations, but I am trying to keep what we love to do in tact and let go of the things that we really don't enjoy, but "we always did!" That way, we can slow down some, hopefully not get the flu from being so tired, and take the time to truly live into Advent.

 As we Episcopalians do say, "It isn't Christmas yet..not until Christmas Day." I think that is a great way to prepare our hearts for the birth of the Christ Child in the midst of all this craziness around us.
With love,
Mariellan

Many thanks once again to daughter, Rebecca, for giving me permission to use her photography from RebeccaWisePhotography.